English student For Sale

RED HOT SALE

One outstanding English student available for purchase to the highest bidder.

You’ll never know what you missed if you pass up the chance to have me in your class.

My attributes include:

• A wicked sense of humour.
• A unique way of thinking.
• A maturity that is rare.

My spelling, punctuation, writing and expression will keep you on your toes; you’ll never fall asleep correcting my work.

Who am I?

I’m the middle child in a family of two siblings, two parents, two dogs, two cars (one’s a paddock bomb), two guinea pigs and unfortunately four cats and eight ducks.

I sleep, work, study, eat and live in what should be the lounge room of a prehistoric, rented, soldier settlement house on 130 acres. The one bright spot is that it overlooks the local reservoir which actually has water in it.

My body matches my ego and my dreams. I would be a benevolent dictator, but I don’t think politics is my calling. I see myself as a physician.

When I have money I will be a champion archer, an innovative games programmer and a charismatic radio presenter.

I’m at my new school because my previous course coordinator mistook my humour for a dangerous, potentially violent psychosis. She thought I was going to do a ‘Columbine’ on the class.